And Now I Talk About Exciting TV.

Beating a meme horse.

It’s official. I have made the appropriate sacrifices, drawn the correct arcane circles (aka given up food and did the re-budgeting) and, for the first time ever, I have a ~##Premium Cable Channel##~. And because Comcast is truly the Devil’s temptress, they granted me a free trial of Showtime when I subscribed to HBO. That’s right, I’VE GOT HBO, BITCHES. And Showtime. Let’s talk TV, shall we?

You Didn’t Need Those Nipples Anyway, Did You?

 

Chock full of nipple-twisting adventure.

Another installment of the First Law series has been re-read. That’s good, because a long-awaited copy of The Heroes was just delivered into my hot little hands and I need to read it. But I want to get through the trilogy first. Ideally, I’d like to re-read Best Served Cold too, but I’m not sure that I can wait that long. So without further ado, let’s roll up the sleeves of our Practical’s blacks and get elbow-deep. In guts. See what I did there? Eh? Eeeh?

I Want Godly Cheeseburgers, Too.

 

Not as infuriating as the movie. Also, I just noticed that the image was for the audio book. I’m not talking about the audio book. So there.

As per usual with almost everything to do with American culture of the past few years, I am way behind the times on the whole Percy Jackson thing. This is what living in England does to you. Before you know it, you read Harry Potter and Terry Pratchett almost incessantly, drink something called scrumpy, laugh at fart jokes and crave baked beans for breakfast. You also ignore anything American, unless you can turn your nose up at it or secretly (oh so secretly) obsess over it. OK, OK, that’s being a little harsh. But it’s also kind of true. Ahem. ANYWAY. YES. PERCY JACKSON. I loved all the books. But I need to get something off my chest…

My Love for You is Like a Truck, Berserker.

So, yesyes, haven’t written anything for a while, blah blah. Blame it on the weather. You see, the winters here in SC are nice. It is possible to go outside. Without a snowsuit. The days are largely sunny, which means that getting out of bed  in the morning doesn’t require a winch and a team of cheerleaders wielding sun lamps and breakfast cake (tastes like bribery, but more buttercreamy). Anyway, I’m here now and I’ve got a backlog of books to talk about. So. Joe Abercrombie.

Strange Days.

Image from RazeTheWorld

I gather that most internet/cable providers now offer a ‘live chat’ customer service…er, service. Which I can appreciate, in theory. Sometimes you just don’t want to put down the computer long enough to chat with another human being. Pffft. Social interaction – who needs it? Amiright? Anyway – I tried it out a couple of times about a month ago, as I didn’t have a phone at the time. It was creepy. Supercreepy. Sample message:

I can certainly relate to your needs and to have you in this chat is as good as fulfilling my own. I am committed to providing you with the best customer service experience. I greatly appreciate your time to chat with us today. How are you doing so far, brutchrepublic?

I had to bite back the urge to type, ‘A little to the left and not quite so hard.’

Yeah, my mind’s pretty much always in the gutter.

On Giant Flying Roaches, or, ‘Something Scarier Than Choking to Death and Having Cats Eat Your Face’

This kitten is hungry for face.

Up until 2 months ago, I was one of those people with a ‘live and let live’ attitude towards insects in the house*. I’ve never liked the idea of killing something just because I’m afraid of it.** At the very least, I’ll try to get a bowl over the offensive party and then take it outside. Sometimes I’ll even find a lovely little leaf for its new home.

Then I moved to coastal Carolina.

Of Hiatuses, Losses and Relocubes

Er. Um. Yes, it’s been a while since I updated this. I was on the road for a spell, then rushed home due to a sick pet, who passed away shortly after I arrived. I was actually thinking about writing something on losing a pet and then kept putting it off because it was just too difficult. Then I put it off some more. Then I decided it was a bad idea. Everyone who’s ever had a pet knows how shitty and hard the experience is and I don’t need to put that down here. Anyway, RIP Precious. I miss you more than I can say.

In other news! I have successfully moved halfway across half the country! In the end, it was always going to be Charleston and I’m pretty pleased with how the move went. Because I noticed that people actually are reading this blog for imaginary readers*, I’ll make a recommendation. U-PACK. Seriously – this is the best. Thing. EVER. Taking everything into account (rental, gas, loading-time) it was only about $50 more than renting a U-Haul. But I had 3 days to load it up AND then 3 days to unload it. And I didn’t have to drive a truck down 16 hours of Interstates. Or worry about said truck breaking down on said Interstates. My little cube arrived in under 3 days. Nothing had been knocked around or squished. The process of renting the cube itself was easy and the customer service folks were fantastic. Honest – it was the easiest move I’ve ever had.

That’s it for now. I’ve been reading some really good books of late that I’m thinking of chatting about. I’ve also got loads of Charleston stories to tell, including my magnum opus,  Palmetto Bugs: How Can Insects Be That Big? It’s set to be a surefire hit – don’t miss out!

*Apparently you all like Dragons and True Blood.

Midnight in the Garden of Brutch Republic

This is not the famous statue. It's an even scarier one.

So. The Savannah leg of the trip is done with.

True Blood: Smelling Your Memories

OK, who farted?

As far as shock value goes, this past week’s episode didn’t quite live up to the head-twisting hate-sex jamboree that was last week’s offering. Nevertheless, it was a busy little episode, with a cameo from 80’s teen pop sensation Tiffany!

Charleston – Really Quite Hot

Feel the heat.

So. Charleston has come and gone. And you’ll be pleased to know that I resisted any and all urges to do the dance (elbows! knees! sparkle-fingers! ACTIVATE!). That’s because because it was hot. Very hot.